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12/12/2016 Ghost of myself
#1
I am in a room (what looks like a hotel room) and I can not leave, because I am not even suppose to be here. (I get the feeling like I am a squatter, or I have not paid my bill, so i can not leave or I will lose everything)

All I know is that I am stuck in this place, in this time, in this curium stance.

I am seeing things as if i am seeing through the eyes of my ex, he comes to me (seems like only in my dreams these days) When he walks up towards the door a neighbor comes out of her house. She is a little old gray haired lady in a floral print dress.

I get to see the old lady's house which is a light blue and looks freshly painted compared to the building I am in, which looks like it was burnt in a fire. There is an old sign that reads: "For lock outs call" and there is no phone number on the sign, it is blank.

The old lady approaches my ex and begins to tell him how she has seen a few times what looks like a white pyramid shape like a Christmas Tree in the window that is made of a white smoke, like a Ghost.

I am completely panicking now and trying to stay away from the window. Tears are running down my face and I am crying for my ex to help me. I look so pathetic and desperate, and so far removed from the strong independent person that I have always been. My ex can not calm me down, and he makes a choice not to help me any more. I watch him walk away.

My heart sinks as I watch him walk away. That knowing sense of truly being alone in this world comes over me. Knowing that all who have loved me, have walked away in my deepest hour of need. The despair that I feel from being unwanted and unlovable is more than I can bare.

I turn around and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I am a Ghost of my former self. I stand their staring at my own reflection, wondering if there is any way to get back to who I used to be.

In my minds eye I see a mountain of trees covered in snow.

I slowly woke up with my pillow damp with my own tears.

NOTES: Clearly this dream was all personal, and profoundly deep. There were a lot of metaphors in this dream like always. Christmas Tree to me has a spiritual meaning, I was a white wispy Christmas Tree, meaning i was walking in pure spirit. The burnt building, I could not leave the room makes me think of my own personal mental and spiritual prisons, and the limitations of my now aging older body. I could not move forward and no one was willing to be stuck with me in this place in my life. I had lost all of my fun loving adventurous ways, the only way to free myself is to expose myself to the cold beauty of nature, which is what always calls to me when i am at my lowest, I can not allow any of my physical or mental limitations to stop me. The way that I am living my life right now, is not right. I have become a ghost of my former self. Staying this way will be the death of me.
[Image: mountain-forest-tree-winter-snow.jpg]
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#2
All I know is that I am stuck in this place, in this time, in this "circumstances"
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#3
I saw this picture on your Facebook page Edna... (how Ironic)

[Image: JLC-choices.jpg]
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#4
We need to catch up. It is way past due.
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#5
I agree twice... need to find a new chat outlet!

Check this out twice.. https://chatstep.com/#NDC123116
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#6
[Image: m_1126.jpg]
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