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"Birth Stopped the Numinous Process and Replaced It"
#1
12-7-2014

Project Ano default intention

"Birth Stopped the Numinous Process and Replaced It..."

I was speaking with a nun, not sure if she was a physical person or an entity that had been a person who lived.
She was describing a process of transformation within her, and of her life, which had taken place and which had given her life its meaning. She quizzed me about my life and was showing me how she believed it was the same for me, i.e, implying that I was undergoing the very same transformational process.
She had become an outlaw of sorts, learning to tune in to her own higher authority within. She had ended up helping people pass through borders illegally as a result, in order to save their lives and in order to help them achieve their ownlife's purpose(s) when the lives that governmental laws had consigned them to were preventing them from expressing their lives fully as spiritual and human beings. As full powerful creative human beings. She had been a nun who followed rules, but she reached a point where she could not follow along with anything anymore that ket people from their power and beauty and kept them in servitude to life-killing or spark-killing lower laws.
She was an impassioned burning person while at the sam time possessed of strength and great calm. very compelling.
She asked me about my interests, gardening and writing and nurturing, and when I told her how I'd been very interested in gardening but it had begun to change and though I was still interested, it was somehow with a different meaning to it, not about growing food or beautiful flowers or even the mechanics of it or being out of doors. I showed her in my mind the image of growing a small plant and watching it become a full grown head of cabbage, healthy and round. I was showing her, I think, how it wasn't the physical aspect of gardening that interested me anymore, not the production of food, but the process alone, the process of transformation from spark through to complete fruition of it's potential. As I did this she had a look of knowing on her face, as if SHE was showing ME, by going through describing to her what she already knew: I had undergone the same type of transformation as she and was now beginning to operate as she did in the realm of true purpose. Now I was beginning to do things revolutionarily, looking for my own answers deep within the nature of things and within my own being, upon my own authority. In other words, some would say an outlaw like her, as external reasons for doing things begin to lose meaning or importance in the scheme of things.
She asked me about writing and nurturing, and it all pointed the same direction that showed how I was like her, seeking inner core truths that would release me from following the superficial dictates of my time, place, and station in the world.
All this conversation took place within a large old castle or monastery/convent, partly within gloomy cold stone halls at a table, and partly outdoors on the convent grounds, which were also darkened (evening). There were other old nuns about, sort of half-listening to our conversation, either used to this non-conformist nun's odd ways or not listening enought to notice and finding it all quite normal. Which it was, kind of. The nun I spoke with had great dignity and earnestness, joy of life, and intensity. She seemed quite at home in the outer trappings of a religious devotee whilst carrying a quite seditious new purpose of freeing people spiritually. This woman was completely committed to freedom.
What was quite mind-blowing was all the metaphors within metaphors. Everything was pointing to the same thing: She was me, I was her, the image of the plants developing to their full expression was what she and I were doing as well, and everything was going on on many levels simultaneously.
I forgot to say clearly how she was still currently, passionately, involved in her mission of carrying people illegally over borders in order to help them live the life that would befit their highest self expression/fruition, and of course I am one of those people to whom she was being my Soujourner Truth, my outlaw guide of a higher calling. It wasn't just that she was physically conducting me over a border, it was instigating within me a new interpretation of my life, while guiding me physically to a new destination.
The birth process was yet another metaphor within metaphor: my having given birth and helped others to give birth. She said something about the "numinous process", birth having stopped the numinous process, although I felt the meaning of her words almost was opposite to that: that birth started the numinous process. I think what she meant was that it was a catalyst whereby one process stopped and another within it took precedence and came from within it to light it up with a new meaning. So for instance, the birth of a baby was really the birth of a mother, if that makes sense, and the birth of a mother-child relationship, as well as the birth of the baby. Birth is not just about babies being born in other words, it is about birth of the Self. (Within the baby, the mother, the father, the family and so on and on.)
One last bit was the image of pollen impregnating with the spark which ignites (the fruit to be).
Emotion: intensity, passion, power.
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