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Peanut Butter Smoothies
#1
This was a personal dream, but I found it kind of funny, so I thought I would share it anyway.

I was shopping in a big store kind of like a Sam's club with my boyfriend. We were talking as we made our way towards the back of the store where the freezers were. In between some of the freezer aisles was a woman handing out samples of a new smoothie. It seemed like a new brand of "health" smoothie. Everyone was avoiding her like the plague. I felt really bad for her as she stood there alone in silence with a whole, untouched display.

We needed to walk past her to get to where we were going in the store and I started to feel a bit anxious. My boyfriend stopped and asked what was wrong. I told him I felt a bit awkward about walking by the sample woman because I knew she would want me to try the product and I really felt weird about her "health" smoothie for some reason. He told me just to walk by like everyone else and not to make eye contact. I had to explain to him that I couldn't just do that because I would feel like I was being rude or mean. She looked sort of sad to me. I assumed she had been there all day and by the looks of things, hadn't even gotten one person to try her product. If it were me, I thought I would feel kind of lonely or sad for not even one person to acknowledge me standing there, even if they didn't want to sample my product. Besides, I doubted very much that she even chose to sell that product. For all I knew, she hated it as much as everyone else seemed to. I also didn't want her to go home at the end of the day feeling like she had failed at her job...

My boyfriend stressed that he thought it was a bad idea. I should follow my gut instinct rather than worry about some strangers feelings, but I just couldn't see her standing there alone anymore, so I handed him my bag and went over to talk to her. I asked how her day was going and she smiled ear to ear and talked to me a bit before offering me a sample. She explained that it was peanut butter flavor and also offered me a box of the mix from the huge mountain of boxes behind her. I took the box in the hopes it would make her day a little better, but I had the intention of sneaking it back on the shelf when she wasn't looking if it was yucky.

My boyfriend was standing several feet away, so when I was done talking to the lady, I turned to walk back to him and tasted the sample I was given. Folks, there are no words on this earth that accurately enough describe the taste of this "health" smoothie. It certainly didn't taste like peanut butter! I immediately fell to my knees and started vomiting violently. My boyfriend rushed over to my side and held my hair up while I spewed my guts out all over the floor. It felt like someone had stabbed me in the stomach with a fork and was slowly spinning up my intestines like spaghetti and so I cried for a bit while he gently rubbed my back. After a while, when the pain started to subside, he looked down at me and asked in a sort of playful and sarcastic tone, "Well, what did we learn?"

To that I replied "Peanut butter smoothies are F'n disgusting", then I woke up.
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Thanks given by: Cassandra , twiceblessed9


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