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Full Version: Coffee, turtles and Missing Toes
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I really wish I remembered more of this dream because it is just so weird and (upon waking up) kinda funny.
I don't remember a large chunk of the beginning of the dream, but at some point I was fixing up an old house in the country. I had a large rectangular wooden tub that was divided in the middle. So, two smaller, square wooden tubs side by side. Someone had given me some very fancy and expensive coffee beans, and without thinking I poured them all into the right tub. I felt immediate regret when I did because I had just wasted around 20lbs of very fancy and expensive beans... but thought I would just have really, REALLY strong coffee for a month or so. Around that time, two people, a girl and a guy, came by. I didn't want to "people" that day, so I just kinda hid and hoped they didn't knock on the door. A large portion of the house was glass on the side where they were, so I worried they would see me. They did, and I had to let them in to sign the receipt that I had gotten what they left on the porch which was two large pieces of wood. One was a 6x6x12 and the other was a 4x6x12. I had been shopping online earlier for different pieces of wood to build myself a cute raised garden bed and had left the two of these in my cart, and it occurred to me that I had somehow accidentally purchased them. Oh well, I thought now I had a good idea as to how each would look and a better idea of what I needed for my growing garden.

When they left, someone else had appeared and they asked what I had going on in the tubs. So I told them that I was making coffee in one but realized that I had messed up for so many reasons, and the most important seemed to be that I hadn't even boiled the water before putting in the beans. I had hoped that I could put the wooden lid over it and have the hot some beam down on it and cook the beans into the water. The water was already warm from the sun, so I was confident it would eventually get hot. As we talked, we noticed that there were turtles in each tub. The tub with the clean water had a cute water-loving turtle of some sort swimming around in it. We didn't get a good look at what was in the other tub. I started to panic a bit because I had no idea that there were turtles in the tubs of water... and whatever turtle was in the coffee would surely die. Whoever was there asked how I knew the turtles didn't crawl in AFTER I made the coffee... and I wasn't sure, honestly, I just sort of felt like I didn't know and had done this... and had it crawled in after, I would be mad that now the coffee was surely ruined because the turtle brought in its gross turtle germs (salmonella?) and had contaminated the possibly ruined coffee I was making with the very expensive beans.

I had whoever was there with me help fish the turtle out of the coffee. Around this time, some celebrities had shown up and were watching us. We fished out a HUGE alligator snapping turtle! I let whoever had been there with me hold it for a while. I was shocked such a huge turtle had been in the tub of coffee. It was snapping at everyone there, and the person holding it threw it in with the other turtle in the clean water. I was very upset and yelled at them that you cant do that! They told me it would be ok and they would probably get along just fine and I got angry and yelled it WOULD NOT be okay. I reached in to grab the other turtle and get it out but I was too late because the alligator snapping turtle had already bitten a huge chunk out of it. It had bitten off a little more than the left leg and some of the turtles guts were hanging out of the shell... So I grabbed a towel to wrap the turtle up in and had the person rush it off to the vet.

When they left, I was there with all the celebrities and the huge tub of crappy ruined coffee. They were all interested in how I had made the coffee in such a "natural" way. So I told them a bit about what I had done and that I felt I had made a huge mistake and why. I ran my fingers through the coffee so that the beans would come up from the bottom for them to see. As I did this, I felt something that was clearly NOT beans touch my hand... so I grabbed it and pulled it out. It was a pair of toes, the big toe and second toe still held together. I freaked out and threw the toes and could not believe what I had just found! Something told me that I should check my feet and sure enough, I was missing these toes! I felt that the alligator snapping turtle had somehow snipped them off without me even noticing. So I ran and grabbed the toes and rinsed them off in a sink and grabbed just a giant chunk of ice from the freezer to hold against them and keep them cold. I asked the celebrities for a ride to a hospital, and I can't remember exactly WHICH one gave me a ride, ( I think it MIGHT have been Robert Downey Jr.) but whichever one it was, was really kind to me and I was surprised they just agreed to it.

Once in the vehicle , they said that they would get me into a fancy celebrity hospital so I would get the best care, so I was happy and grateful for that. Maybe by the time everything was said and done, my toes would be much prettier than they were before? When we got there, I saw that there was a small line of people in front of a machine that sorta looked like an ATM machine. Next to the machine was a big glass wall with a few holes in it. It was empty, and all white except for a man sitting in a wooden chair holding a chart. Apparently, you had to go and put into the machine the things that were wrong with you, and the man next to it saw the things on his chart and asked other questions to you as you did this to give you a ticket. You would be seen based on the severity of your injury. I thought this was kinda weird, and went to a desk on the other side of the room to ask where to go in an emergency. The woman behind the desk pointed me back to the machine... so I walked back and the line was much longer now. I thought to myself that by the time I was seen, there would be no saving my toes. I was wearing flip flops and looked down at the toes... and even though I had WHOLE TOES in my hand, when I looked down at my feet, it still looked like I had most of the toes... It looked like I had mostly whole toes with no toenails. I was thinking that maybe I could just paint on toenails and maybe no one would notice as long as they didn't get close enough to see them in great detail. Right after thinking all of this, it was my turn to use the hospital machine. It asked my reason for being there and gave a list of answers to choose from, but I didn't see "Toes got bitten off by a turtle" so I told the guy behind the glass and the machine went on to ask different questions to include my pain level. But it didn't have the usual responses, just responses like "I feel pretty damn good" and "Holy f'n hell it hurts". I probably would have been amused by this in the dream if I wasn't so worried and freaked out by losing my toes. Then the machine started to ask just weird questions that had nothing to do with the situation... like what kind of products I buy and what shows I watch on tv. I started to get a bit upset and told the guy behind the glass that this was ridiculous and didn't have anything to do with my medical situation and that I thought it was taking up so much time when time was of the essence. He gave me a hateful glare and I woke up.
Man, you had a lot going on in this dream! Big Grin