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09-16-2014, 06:33 PM
I had a couple of dreams last night that I can't quite remember in full... but they didn't give me the best feeling.
In the first dream, I had to rescue and take care of different animals from the woods. I had to hunt them down which took some time, then capture them to bring them home with me. Capturing them was fairly easy since they all seemed to like me and didn't put up much of a fight. When I brought them home, I separated them in rooms. I was in a bathroom that looked a lot like the master bathroom in the home I grew up in. I was watching a litter of kittens play on the floor with one another. I want to say that there were about four of them. To add to the fun, I opened a cabinet under the sink to release about four ferrets who flew out and started playing with the kittens. It was so fun watching them chase each other and wrestle, so I thought maybe if I introduced other animals slowly, that they would ALL get along and play happily together. After all, they were safe with me and there was no need to fight now for food, water, or shelter. I was meeting everyone's needs, so there was really no need for anything other than peace now, right?
The next animal I tried to introduce I knew would want to eat the kittens if in the wild. But I had hoped that now it would somehow become friends with them and maybe even protect them. This was some sort of medium large animal, but I can't quite remember what it was. Maybe a wild cat of some sort or a wolverine type animal? At any rate, it was some sort of medium large mammal. I cracked the bathroom door open to give it a peek inside and held one of the kittens up for it to smell. It immediately tried to chomp onto it's ear, so I slammed the door shut on it and gathered all the kittens, just leaving the ferrets. I decided that I had to protect the kittens above everything else for two reasons: 1.) I am very partial to cats and 2.) They were only babies. They weren't big or bad enough to take care of themselves and so, I felt it was my duty to make sure that they were protected. I was, however, also obligated to care for all of the other creatures and I loved them as well, but my sense of duty was stronger with the kittens and they took priority over everything else. After putting the kittens in a cardboard box, I decided to let that creature back in to play with the ferrets. It had been pacing back and forth by the door wanting those kittens and rushed in when I opened the door but when it was greeted by the pack of giddy ferrets it seemed to forget about the kittens and it rolled over on its back and played with them. I was very happy with this and took a second to give myself a mental high-five before taking the box of kittens and leaving the room being very careful to shut the door behind me.
After putting the kittens somewhere safe, I had gone to the kitchen for some reason. I noticed a large, grey spider on something on the floor. I can't remember what this thing was that was on the floor, but I remember thinking about what a danger that spider was because this was something that was used or handled a lot. Children would never think to look for a spider and I am prone to forgetting things very quickly. It would be my luck that I would leave it there only to be bitten by it later and I had no idea if this thing was poisonous or not. It had very long legs and a thin-ish body. It wasn't a spider I was familiar with and spiders weren't one of the creatures I was sent out to protect, so I decided that for the safety of my family, the animals, and myself, I had better kill it. As I went to get some bug spray I noticed another one in an air vent over my head maybe just a couple steps away from the other spider. This gave me the creeps and I felt like their placement now wasn't just coincidence. I felt like those spiders had placed themselves there to watch me! All the more reason to get rid of them. There was no telling how many spiders were where I couldn't see them and the last thing I needed was these two going off and using info they found on me to plot my demise with the other spiders... so I hurried off to get some spray to kill them with. The can of insect spray I found was meant to kill mostly bugs, but it mentioned a couple of different spiders that it might kill. Since I didn't know what kind of spiders these were, I thought I could at least use the spray and see what happened. When I sprayed them, they flinched a bit but seemed unaffected for the most part. I waited a couple of minutes and when nothing happened, I went to find something stronger. I found a sprayer with some sort of super-poison in it. I sprayed the spider in the vent with that stuff and it died almost instantly... but then I worried about this very potent poison dripping from the vent. It would be bad if another animal stepped in it and poisoned itself when it tried to clean its paws... but would it be worse than to risk being killed by a mob of spiders? I wasn't sure, but I felt like it was, so I went after the other spider. As I sprayed the other spider, I noticed tiny droplets of the spray fly into a turtle tank behind it... I was upset, but what was done was done. I killed the spider and now worried about the turtle. The turtle seemed ok and I thought to myself that it should be fine but if it were to die, that would be unfortunate. He would have to take one for the team.
It was a bit difficult to decide whether or not to share the next dream. It seemed a bit personal ... and to be honest, it scared the crap out of me. This has been one of the most depressing dreams I have ever had...
I can't remember a whole lot in the beginning. I was living next to a seemingly endless ocean in a house with many other people. There was a snow storm outside. There was several feet of snow and the sight of it surprised me because the most snow I've ever seen in my lifetime was a VERY thin layer on the ground... THIS snow was so deep that everything was buried beneath it and all I could see outside was a blanket of white. I had known about the snowstorm and had prepared my family plus a little extra for others in case of an emergency. My only worry was everyone getting too cold or the house collapsing due to very strong winds, but for the most part, I believed that my family would survive. I had warned others of the storm, but not everyone would listen to me. I felt sorry for those who didn't listen, but was prepared to take care of the ones who came to me seeking shelter. I noticed a group of people fighting the storm to come to my home and went outside to greet them... but in the ocean there was a very strange ship. It was a white ship, but it was very odd looking. It was like some super futuristic cruise ship maybe... as if someone had merged a cruise ship with a UFO. Something about it gave me an odd feeling. It didn't feel good or bad, just different. I wasn't sure if I should be scared or not. There was a male entity there. He called to the group of people to come with him to the 'light' which was the ship. I knew that if they followed that man into the ship, they would die and I screamed for them not to listen to the man. I even ran out into the deep snow to try and stop one of them, pulling on a man's coat, but he gently pulled away and followed the others into the ship. I can't put a face to the male entity... I cant remember what he looked like... but I know he was wearing a white robe and he smiled at me. This kind of gave me the creeps... I knew that he was going to kill these people, but he was so calm and polite about it. I begged him not to do it, but he, in the nicest way you could ever imagine, told me that it had to be done. He then turned and followed the others onto the ship. I watched the ship sail off until it was no longer visible then went inside to be with my family. We were all that was left now.
After some time, the snow was gone. It was warm and rainy out. There was another storm coming, but I was not as worried about this one. This one would just be a strong rainstorm of some sort. I had lived through worse storms and felt like I had no reason to worry. I watched the rain fall from the window and felt so glad that it wasn't a snow storm. I've never had to worry about my children freezing to death before and I never wanted to have to worry about that again. After the rain slowed to a near stop, I saw a vehicle drive up the long driveway to our home. The man in white from earlier got out of the vehicle and walked up to our house... for some reason, this terrified me and I went out to meet him, hoping to keep him as far away from my children as possible. When I met him outside, he was warm, calm, and polite as he talked to me. He said something to make me feel like he considered himself God. This shocked me, but I couldn't make myself believe him. I couldn't imagine God, himself, coming down to round up people the way this guy was doing. He had to be a false god! My son bounced out from inside the house and the man in white talked to him and asked him if he wanted to go with him. I tried to scream no or go to grab my son, but I was paralyzed... but paralyzed in a warm way which kept me from feeling the fear and horror I knew I should have felt. It was weird... but all I could do was stand motionless as the man put his hand on my oldest son's shoulder and walk him to the vehicle... talking to him as if they were old buddies. Once in the vehicle, they drove off. When they were out of sight, I was able to move again, and I went inside to prepare myself for a journey. I was going to hunt down that ship and get my son back! I asked my husband to come with me and together we sat in an old, rickety boat and rowed our way into the ocean with no idea of where we should go and with no way to navigate.
Amazingly enough, I was able to find the boat and we entered it very sure that we had not been detected. There were a few workers in white marching up and down the halls every great once in a while. In fact, I was sure I had been seen a few times, but the workers just walked by as if they didn't notice me... or maybe they didn't care that I was there? I saw the man who claimed to be God in a room in the very middle of the ship giving some sort of lecture and tried to avoid that door so I could explore the ship. Many of the rooms looked like rooms you would see on hoarders. They were filled with peoples personal belongings and things that seemed to carry happy memories. Some of the rooms were piled high with random stuff, and some rooms were a little more empty...(Thinking back, I think the older the person was, the more stuff was piled in the room... probably because they had more memories than that of a child) In one of the rooms, I found some of my son's belongings and I ran inside thinking he would be there, but he wasn't. I also noticed some little girl stuff thrown in the mix. It seemed like they were things that I had bought and lost and I worked to gather them up to bring back with me. I thought it was horrible that the man in white had these things and I wanted them back! But... I still hadn't found my son. My husband and I had split up to search and we met back in the middle close to the door where the man in white was giving his lecture. I was going to put the stuff in the boat and come back to search a second time for my son... as we snuck by the door, however, the man in white called out to me. He was kind and smiling like he always was and let us know that he had known we were searching for his ship. He had allowed us to find it. He also knew that we had been on it and had put the little girl things where I would find them... but said that I could not have my son back. He called us into the room which was now empty of everyone except for the three of us. There were some large computers/machines in the room with him. I begged and pleaded for him to return my son and he didn't seem to want to. He told me that my son had willingly come with him and that I should allow my son his freedom to choose. But I begged and begged, even offering to trade myself for my son. He asked who would raise my other children if I chose to come along with him in my son's place... I could not answer. I asked about what happened to people who came onto his ship. What had happened to all of the people I had seen that boarded his ship earlier? He told me that they had been "de-programed" and pointed to the computer-machines behind him. I knew that this meant they were dead and this machine did something to clean their spirits... but then I wondered where the bodies had gone. They weren't on the ship. Also... I knew that I was probably already too late. My son had most likely been de-programed. But since this man claimed to be God, shouldn't he be able to give him back? I begged and begged for him to give me my son back. Finally he asked me which of my children I would choose to replace him with. I didn't know what this meant. He showed me some paperwork with my name on it. Under some of my personal information was an area that listed three kids. My two younger sons and my daughter on the way. He asked which of them I would choose to let go of since my given limit was for three children. How does someone choose? While I stood there speechless, he said to me that my son had willingly offered to go with him and that if I chose another child, I would be forcing my will upon my oldest son and whatever child I chose to replace him. THIS really hurt the heart. What do you do? How do you choose? He mentioned that he only had all of our best interests at heart and that I should have faith in his good judgment... but I couldn't believe that he was God. He had to be a false god... what kind of God would do this?! This really hurt so much. He told me that if I wanted, I was welcome to join my oldest son, but that I should probably keep my other children's best interest at heart. Not knowing what else I could do, I got back on my little row boat and rowed home. By the time we had finished talking, his ship had taken us almost the entire way back home. It was only a short paddle back to the beach.
I ran into my home to hug the two boys that were left. I was crying so hard I could barely see them through my tears. I wasn't sure how much more I could take. As I looked at them, I wondered how I could ever choose one over the other... then the thought occurred to me that I could have given up my daughter. I had never seen her. She had not been born yet. Neither of us would feel the full impact of knowing what we were missing... but then it dawned on me that neither of us would know what we were missing. She would never experience life and the love of an earthly mother and I would never experience the love and joy of a daughter. I just couldn't sacrifice that either... and she had been with me when I spoke to that man in white. She didn't volunteer to go with him so she must have wanted to stay with me. I can't stress how much pain and sorrow I felt in this dream. I didn't think I could bear any more... and since I didn't believe that the man I saw was the god he claimed to be, I decided the only thing left to do was to pray to the REAL one, so I got on my knees and prayed for God's help. Towards the end of this extensive prayer, I was unable to sit up on my knees and fell on my hands. I was stopped by a male voice and looked behind me to see that it was the man in white again. He said he had come to me because he had heard my prayers. I was confused by this because I believed him to be a fake god... so how was he able to know I was praying? And how could he appear out of nowhere when I SAW him sail off in that ship just a short time earlier? I turned to face him and all I could think was that he could not be God because God would not be so cruel. He was very convincing, but he could not be God. He spoke to me calmly and told me that he had a reason for what he was doing. That by taking on four children, I would meet my limits too soon and my health would fail. He told me that my maximum would be three and showed me the paperwork again listing my two older sons and unborn daughter. I begged him to let me take on the responsibility and promised that I would do whatever it took to keep all of us safe and happy. I argued the fact that he said I should respect my son's choice to leave voluntarily, but I was never given a choice as to how many children I would take on. I begged him to let me prove that I could do it... he remained silent as I begged and pleaded for my son back. The entire time I begged, I wondered if he was, in fact, God. I just couldn't believe it because it didn't seem like he should be in a body and something didn't make me feel like he was... but it was clear that he had control over my son's life. Even though I couldn't make myself believe he was God, I couldn't help but ask myself "what if?". I woke up in the middle of my crying and pleading.
In the first dream, I had to rescue and take care of different animals from the woods. I had to hunt them down which took some time, then capture them to bring them home with me. Capturing them was fairly easy since they all seemed to like me and didn't put up much of a fight. When I brought them home, I separated them in rooms. I was in a bathroom that looked a lot like the master bathroom in the home I grew up in. I was watching a litter of kittens play on the floor with one another. I want to say that there were about four of them. To add to the fun, I opened a cabinet under the sink to release about four ferrets who flew out and started playing with the kittens. It was so fun watching them chase each other and wrestle, so I thought maybe if I introduced other animals slowly, that they would ALL get along and play happily together. After all, they were safe with me and there was no need to fight now for food, water, or shelter. I was meeting everyone's needs, so there was really no need for anything other than peace now, right?
The next animal I tried to introduce I knew would want to eat the kittens if in the wild. But I had hoped that now it would somehow become friends with them and maybe even protect them. This was some sort of medium large animal, but I can't quite remember what it was. Maybe a wild cat of some sort or a wolverine type animal? At any rate, it was some sort of medium large mammal. I cracked the bathroom door open to give it a peek inside and held one of the kittens up for it to smell. It immediately tried to chomp onto it's ear, so I slammed the door shut on it and gathered all the kittens, just leaving the ferrets. I decided that I had to protect the kittens above everything else for two reasons: 1.) I am very partial to cats and 2.) They were only babies. They weren't big or bad enough to take care of themselves and so, I felt it was my duty to make sure that they were protected. I was, however, also obligated to care for all of the other creatures and I loved them as well, but my sense of duty was stronger with the kittens and they took priority over everything else. After putting the kittens in a cardboard box, I decided to let that creature back in to play with the ferrets. It had been pacing back and forth by the door wanting those kittens and rushed in when I opened the door but when it was greeted by the pack of giddy ferrets it seemed to forget about the kittens and it rolled over on its back and played with them. I was very happy with this and took a second to give myself a mental high-five before taking the box of kittens and leaving the room being very careful to shut the door behind me.
After putting the kittens somewhere safe, I had gone to the kitchen for some reason. I noticed a large, grey spider on something on the floor. I can't remember what this thing was that was on the floor, but I remember thinking about what a danger that spider was because this was something that was used or handled a lot. Children would never think to look for a spider and I am prone to forgetting things very quickly. It would be my luck that I would leave it there only to be bitten by it later and I had no idea if this thing was poisonous or not. It had very long legs and a thin-ish body. It wasn't a spider I was familiar with and spiders weren't one of the creatures I was sent out to protect, so I decided that for the safety of my family, the animals, and myself, I had better kill it. As I went to get some bug spray I noticed another one in an air vent over my head maybe just a couple steps away from the other spider. This gave me the creeps and I felt like their placement now wasn't just coincidence. I felt like those spiders had placed themselves there to watch me! All the more reason to get rid of them. There was no telling how many spiders were where I couldn't see them and the last thing I needed was these two going off and using info they found on me to plot my demise with the other spiders... so I hurried off to get some spray to kill them with. The can of insect spray I found was meant to kill mostly bugs, but it mentioned a couple of different spiders that it might kill. Since I didn't know what kind of spiders these were, I thought I could at least use the spray and see what happened. When I sprayed them, they flinched a bit but seemed unaffected for the most part. I waited a couple of minutes and when nothing happened, I went to find something stronger. I found a sprayer with some sort of super-poison in it. I sprayed the spider in the vent with that stuff and it died almost instantly... but then I worried about this very potent poison dripping from the vent. It would be bad if another animal stepped in it and poisoned itself when it tried to clean its paws... but would it be worse than to risk being killed by a mob of spiders? I wasn't sure, but I felt like it was, so I went after the other spider. As I sprayed the other spider, I noticed tiny droplets of the spray fly into a turtle tank behind it... I was upset, but what was done was done. I killed the spider and now worried about the turtle. The turtle seemed ok and I thought to myself that it should be fine but if it were to die, that would be unfortunate. He would have to take one for the team.
It was a bit difficult to decide whether or not to share the next dream. It seemed a bit personal ... and to be honest, it scared the crap out of me. This has been one of the most depressing dreams I have ever had...
I can't remember a whole lot in the beginning. I was living next to a seemingly endless ocean in a house with many other people. There was a snow storm outside. There was several feet of snow and the sight of it surprised me because the most snow I've ever seen in my lifetime was a VERY thin layer on the ground... THIS snow was so deep that everything was buried beneath it and all I could see outside was a blanket of white. I had known about the snowstorm and had prepared my family plus a little extra for others in case of an emergency. My only worry was everyone getting too cold or the house collapsing due to very strong winds, but for the most part, I believed that my family would survive. I had warned others of the storm, but not everyone would listen to me. I felt sorry for those who didn't listen, but was prepared to take care of the ones who came to me seeking shelter. I noticed a group of people fighting the storm to come to my home and went outside to greet them... but in the ocean there was a very strange ship. It was a white ship, but it was very odd looking. It was like some super futuristic cruise ship maybe... as if someone had merged a cruise ship with a UFO. Something about it gave me an odd feeling. It didn't feel good or bad, just different. I wasn't sure if I should be scared or not. There was a male entity there. He called to the group of people to come with him to the 'light' which was the ship. I knew that if they followed that man into the ship, they would die and I screamed for them not to listen to the man. I even ran out into the deep snow to try and stop one of them, pulling on a man's coat, but he gently pulled away and followed the others into the ship. I can't put a face to the male entity... I cant remember what he looked like... but I know he was wearing a white robe and he smiled at me. This kind of gave me the creeps... I knew that he was going to kill these people, but he was so calm and polite about it. I begged him not to do it, but he, in the nicest way you could ever imagine, told me that it had to be done. He then turned and followed the others onto the ship. I watched the ship sail off until it was no longer visible then went inside to be with my family. We were all that was left now.
After some time, the snow was gone. It was warm and rainy out. There was another storm coming, but I was not as worried about this one. This one would just be a strong rainstorm of some sort. I had lived through worse storms and felt like I had no reason to worry. I watched the rain fall from the window and felt so glad that it wasn't a snow storm. I've never had to worry about my children freezing to death before and I never wanted to have to worry about that again. After the rain slowed to a near stop, I saw a vehicle drive up the long driveway to our home. The man in white from earlier got out of the vehicle and walked up to our house... for some reason, this terrified me and I went out to meet him, hoping to keep him as far away from my children as possible. When I met him outside, he was warm, calm, and polite as he talked to me. He said something to make me feel like he considered himself God. This shocked me, but I couldn't make myself believe him. I couldn't imagine God, himself, coming down to round up people the way this guy was doing. He had to be a false god! My son bounced out from inside the house and the man in white talked to him and asked him if he wanted to go with him. I tried to scream no or go to grab my son, but I was paralyzed... but paralyzed in a warm way which kept me from feeling the fear and horror I knew I should have felt. It was weird... but all I could do was stand motionless as the man put his hand on my oldest son's shoulder and walk him to the vehicle... talking to him as if they were old buddies. Once in the vehicle, they drove off. When they were out of sight, I was able to move again, and I went inside to prepare myself for a journey. I was going to hunt down that ship and get my son back! I asked my husband to come with me and together we sat in an old, rickety boat and rowed our way into the ocean with no idea of where we should go and with no way to navigate.
Amazingly enough, I was able to find the boat and we entered it very sure that we had not been detected. There were a few workers in white marching up and down the halls every great once in a while. In fact, I was sure I had been seen a few times, but the workers just walked by as if they didn't notice me... or maybe they didn't care that I was there? I saw the man who claimed to be God in a room in the very middle of the ship giving some sort of lecture and tried to avoid that door so I could explore the ship. Many of the rooms looked like rooms you would see on hoarders. They were filled with peoples personal belongings and things that seemed to carry happy memories. Some of the rooms were piled high with random stuff, and some rooms were a little more empty...(Thinking back, I think the older the person was, the more stuff was piled in the room... probably because they had more memories than that of a child) In one of the rooms, I found some of my son's belongings and I ran inside thinking he would be there, but he wasn't. I also noticed some little girl stuff thrown in the mix. It seemed like they were things that I had bought and lost and I worked to gather them up to bring back with me. I thought it was horrible that the man in white had these things and I wanted them back! But... I still hadn't found my son. My husband and I had split up to search and we met back in the middle close to the door where the man in white was giving his lecture. I was going to put the stuff in the boat and come back to search a second time for my son... as we snuck by the door, however, the man in white called out to me. He was kind and smiling like he always was and let us know that he had known we were searching for his ship. He had allowed us to find it. He also knew that we had been on it and had put the little girl things where I would find them... but said that I could not have my son back. He called us into the room which was now empty of everyone except for the three of us. There were some large computers/machines in the room with him. I begged and pleaded for him to return my son and he didn't seem to want to. He told me that my son had willingly come with him and that I should allow my son his freedom to choose. But I begged and begged, even offering to trade myself for my son. He asked who would raise my other children if I chose to come along with him in my son's place... I could not answer. I asked about what happened to people who came onto his ship. What had happened to all of the people I had seen that boarded his ship earlier? He told me that they had been "de-programed" and pointed to the computer-machines behind him. I knew that this meant they were dead and this machine did something to clean their spirits... but then I wondered where the bodies had gone. They weren't on the ship. Also... I knew that I was probably already too late. My son had most likely been de-programed. But since this man claimed to be God, shouldn't he be able to give him back? I begged and begged for him to give me my son back. Finally he asked me which of my children I would choose to replace him with. I didn't know what this meant. He showed me some paperwork with my name on it. Under some of my personal information was an area that listed three kids. My two younger sons and my daughter on the way. He asked which of them I would choose to let go of since my given limit was for three children. How does someone choose? While I stood there speechless, he said to me that my son had willingly offered to go with him and that if I chose another child, I would be forcing my will upon my oldest son and whatever child I chose to replace him. THIS really hurt the heart. What do you do? How do you choose? He mentioned that he only had all of our best interests at heart and that I should have faith in his good judgment... but I couldn't believe that he was God. He had to be a false god... what kind of God would do this?! This really hurt so much. He told me that if I wanted, I was welcome to join my oldest son, but that I should probably keep my other children's best interest at heart. Not knowing what else I could do, I got back on my little row boat and rowed home. By the time we had finished talking, his ship had taken us almost the entire way back home. It was only a short paddle back to the beach.
I ran into my home to hug the two boys that were left. I was crying so hard I could barely see them through my tears. I wasn't sure how much more I could take. As I looked at them, I wondered how I could ever choose one over the other... then the thought occurred to me that I could have given up my daughter. I had never seen her. She had not been born yet. Neither of us would feel the full impact of knowing what we were missing... but then it dawned on me that neither of us would know what we were missing. She would never experience life and the love of an earthly mother and I would never experience the love and joy of a daughter. I just couldn't sacrifice that either... and she had been with me when I spoke to that man in white. She didn't volunteer to go with him so she must have wanted to stay with me. I can't stress how much pain and sorrow I felt in this dream. I didn't think I could bear any more... and since I didn't believe that the man I saw was the god he claimed to be, I decided the only thing left to do was to pray to the REAL one, so I got on my knees and prayed for God's help. Towards the end of this extensive prayer, I was unable to sit up on my knees and fell on my hands. I was stopped by a male voice and looked behind me to see that it was the man in white again. He said he had come to me because he had heard my prayers. I was confused by this because I believed him to be a fake god... so how was he able to know I was praying? And how could he appear out of nowhere when I SAW him sail off in that ship just a short time earlier? I turned to face him and all I could think was that he could not be God because God would not be so cruel. He was very convincing, but he could not be God. He spoke to me calmly and told me that he had a reason for what he was doing. That by taking on four children, I would meet my limits too soon and my health would fail. He told me that my maximum would be three and showed me the paperwork again listing my two older sons and unborn daughter. I begged him to let me take on the responsibility and promised that I would do whatever it took to keep all of us safe and happy. I argued the fact that he said I should respect my son's choice to leave voluntarily, but I was never given a choice as to how many children I would take on. I begged him to let me prove that I could do it... he remained silent as I begged and pleaded for my son back. The entire time I begged, I wondered if he was, in fact, God. I just couldn't believe it because it didn't seem like he should be in a body and something didn't make me feel like he was... but it was clear that he had control over my son's life. Even though I couldn't make myself believe he was God, I couldn't help but ask myself "what if?". I woke up in the middle of my crying and pleading.