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I will share with you my secret practice of the rain-stopping dance....
1. Take one newly married husband out of nice, warm bed at 8am on a Sunday morning.
2. Dress him and yourself nicely with layers of long johns, Army ponchos, fairly waterproof boots and lots of gloves, bring a trusty chainsaw.
3. Say goodbye to your heated, dry house with 3 cuddling cats to enter the steady rainfall in 43* weather.
4. Drive to riding stable where wife's trainer and equally crazy friends/boarders (along with one other husband!) are awaiting.
5. Regroup in the back 100, with a large farm truck that has flatbed trailer attached.
6. Commence trimming ~6' waterlogged pine boughs and loading onto trailer and truck.
7. Repeat for 2 hours until bottom half of jeans are soaked and trailer has reached maximum capacity of pine.
8. Rendezvous to trainer's house for a quick cup of coffee/tea/adult beverage and then head off to race grounds where Mother Nature greets you with a nice drizzling spray.
9. Leave warm, defrosting car once more for a fairly saturated 1 1/2mi turf track. Remove pine boughs from trailer and artfully place on steeplechase fences, make sure you whap yourself good in the face at least once with a sappy branch.
10. Repeat the dressing of fences 7x for the next 2 hours. At least 2 people at all times must be walking fence to fence to ensure the dance is properly done!
11. Return to cars, where you strip off all soaked clothing without having the neighbors alert authorities.
NOTE: If your fingers are dry, you've done something wrong and the sun will not grace you with its presence.
Bask in the sun shining through the clouds!
Feel free to use this whenever you see fit! I'm sure variations will arise...
1. Take one newly married husband out of nice, warm bed at 8am on a Sunday morning.
2. Dress him and yourself nicely with layers of long johns, Army ponchos, fairly waterproof boots and lots of gloves, bring a trusty chainsaw.
3. Say goodbye to your heated, dry house with 3 cuddling cats to enter the steady rainfall in 43* weather.
4. Drive to riding stable where wife's trainer and equally crazy friends/boarders (along with one other husband!) are awaiting.
5. Regroup in the back 100, with a large farm truck that has flatbed trailer attached.
6. Commence trimming ~6' waterlogged pine boughs and loading onto trailer and truck.
7. Repeat for 2 hours until bottom half of jeans are soaked and trailer has reached maximum capacity of pine.
8. Rendezvous to trainer's house for a quick cup of coffee/tea/adult beverage and then head off to race grounds where Mother Nature greets you with a nice drizzling spray.
9. Leave warm, defrosting car once more for a fairly saturated 1 1/2mi turf track. Remove pine boughs from trailer and artfully place on steeplechase fences, make sure you whap yourself good in the face at least once with a sappy branch.
10. Repeat the dressing of fences 7x for the next 2 hours. At least 2 people at all times must be walking fence to fence to ensure the dance is properly done!
11. Return to cars, where you strip off all soaked clothing without having the neighbors alert authorities.
NOTE: If your fingers are dry, you've done something wrong and the sun will not grace you with its presence.
Bask in the sun shining through the clouds!
Feel free to use this whenever you see fit! I'm sure variations will arise...
