Chat
02-13-2017, 05:36 AM
The first scene I am the mother of a little girl. My little girl is pregnant and the boy who got her pregnant will not stand up and be a father, she is young like 12/13 years old. I am angry with the boys parents, they will not allow me or my daughter to speak to him, they tell me try to write him a letter and mail it to see if they get it. I leave that neighborhood in what feels like a car by the speed and distance. As if I am now the little girl looking out the back window watching her boyfriends house fade away in the distance.
Next scene, I am now in a small town, there is a plainly dressed older girl there, almost a woman at 17 flat chested, straight hair, very plain with sunken eyes. They are my family but I am not sure how. My mother has sent me here to live with them, even though she doesn't like them.
More than a year has passed and it is now my daughters first birthday party and the older girl shows up. She reminds me of the girl from Hairspray, chunky, pink dress, and very flamboyant for such a small town girl. Almost reminds me of a drag queen. I am drunk following her through the town, I see a cake shop and they have several cakes lined up for a judging competition, I walk by and stick my finger in each one, I taste each one. I can tell I am very Very Drink. I am being yelled at but I do not care.
I am now laying on a couch hungover, my ex is there and he has come to take my child away since I am such a drunk. My cousin's little sister took the baby, the day before at her first birthday party while I was gallivanting around town, and she gave my baby to a couple of grown men in boats just because they wanted her, she thought my baby would have a better life with these two scruffy homeless looking men than with me, or with her family. Even a better life than her own father could provide.
I was so drunk, so angry I was yelling at him that he left me and his baby years ago, he didn't get to come back now and play daddy, I ordered him to get out. Pinky (which was the older cousin in drag) was mean, and she would be back soon. I started thrown things and breaking windows. I am actually relieved to be rid of the responsibilities of being a child parent. I do not want my own child back. What's worse is I do not care to find out her fate.
I hear a voice upon waking that says to me... "The confessions of a tortured soul"
NOTE: I was seeing all of this as if through the eyes of another person, this was not my life. Like a movie though I was allowed to watch it all. Good and bad.
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Next scene, I am now in a small town, there is a plainly dressed older girl there, almost a woman at 17 flat chested, straight hair, very plain with sunken eyes. They are my family but I am not sure how. My mother has sent me here to live with them, even though she doesn't like them.
More than a year has passed and it is now my daughters first birthday party and the older girl shows up. She reminds me of the girl from Hairspray, chunky, pink dress, and very flamboyant for such a small town girl. Almost reminds me of a drag queen. I am drunk following her through the town, I see a cake shop and they have several cakes lined up for a judging competition, I walk by and stick my finger in each one, I taste each one. I can tell I am very Very Drink. I am being yelled at but I do not care.
I am now laying on a couch hungover, my ex is there and he has come to take my child away since I am such a drunk. My cousin's little sister took the baby, the day before at her first birthday party while I was gallivanting around town, and she gave my baby to a couple of grown men in boats just because they wanted her, she thought my baby would have a better life with these two scruffy homeless looking men than with me, or with her family. Even a better life than her own father could provide.
I was so drunk, so angry I was yelling at him that he left me and his baby years ago, he didn't get to come back now and play daddy, I ordered him to get out. Pinky (which was the older cousin in drag) was mean, and she would be back soon. I started thrown things and breaking windows. I am actually relieved to be rid of the responsibilities of being a child parent. I do not want my own child back. What's worse is I do not care to find out her fate.
I hear a voice upon waking that says to me... "The confessions of a tortured soul"
NOTE: I was seeing all of this as if through the eyes of another person, this was not my life. Like a movie though I was allowed to watch it all. Good and bad.