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12-12-2017, 09:35 AM
I had this dream a good while back and have wanted to share it for some time, but have struggled with the idea of posting it publicly because, like many of my dreams, it's kind of personal. But it was also kind of an interesting ride. (Alot of my dreams are, though) I've come close to posting this dream SO many times, and just couldn't press the post button. I decided to FINALLY post it here because, while the dream is upsetting to me, I don't think it is "troubling" per se... so probably not worth posting as a troubling dream.
I *think* I understand the meaning of the dream, but even still, I've had a hard time "getting over it". The dream was quite intense for me, so I'm also very interested in other interpretations. Like most of my more memorable dreams, the dream was very lengthy and vivid. And this one was weirdly complete. By that, I mean that I didn't wake up in the middle or in a way that made the dream incomplete. I woke up when the dream finished. What makes this dream so upsetting to me isn't so much the content or the ideas presented in the dream, but the intensity of the feelings inside this dream. I've had happy dreams, funny dreams, sad dreams, predictive dreams and just down-right heart-stopping, terrifying night terrors... but nothing I have ever dreampt has effected me quite like this dream. I know that by just reading it, it won't sound like much. It will sound like a sad adventure. A tragedy like you would read in a book (and it honestly does kind of sound like something you'd read in a book) ... but believe me when I say, when I had this dream, it honest to God felt like my soul was dying and still does a little bit when I think back on it.
This dream was intended... which, honestly, made it hurt more, I think. The intention was about a relationship I was in and whether or not it would work out. If I should keep trying. I had intended dreams for this relationship several times. About 4 out of 5 times I would, in fact, dream of our relationship. It felt like I was getting some intention practice. Maybe not on a huge scale, but on a small, safe, experimental level. Many dreams made me feel like I should pursue the relationship and KEEP working on it. I will reluctantly admit that the not-so-great dreams I blamed mostly on anxiety. Like many of my dreams, the dreams that I believed led me to be with this man I was with were very metaphorical and vague, so maybe I had misinterpreted (Interpretation has never been a strength of mine). Maybe my intention was not precise enough ... more likely, those dreams simply reflected what I had hoped for. The answers I wanted but were otherwise useless. Not the answers I needed. (Because, as I mentioned, those were due to anxiety. ;>_> ) At any rate, this dream certainly knocked me on my bottom. Which is one reason why I would like to share it. I had this dream before the actual end of the "relationship" and unlike a lot of my dreams it was one of those "slap-you-in-the-face" kind of dreams, which I get on very rare occasions when something very good or just terrible is right around the corner for me or someone very close to me and the universe really wants me to "get it". Some really tough realizations in this one... and not happy ones.
Also, before I get to the actual dream, I'd like to say (as I think I have in past dreams posted publicly) that I've never really believed in reincarnation. I had similar views on "soul mates". I don't study it. Read about it. Watch shows about it... but I've had several dreams now revolving around it. My beliefs now on reincarnation are that I am highly doubtful of it... but there are a lot of things that I just don't know and have no real way of knowing, so who knows. Maybe? But still doubtful. Maybe though. But probably not. (LOL! ;P )
In the beginning of this dream I am watching a family of four in a house. There is a husband and wife getting ready for work and two children (A little boy and girl) getting ready for school. If I had to guess, I'd say the children were maybe somewhere between ages 10 and 14. When everyone is ready, they rush out into a red convertible. The husband is behind the wheel driving on a very busy highway and the scenery reminded me a lot of California. There were palm trees and those weird spiky shrubs everywhere. So, I'm watching this very normal family, now stuck in traffic, from above like a boring reality TV show until I somehow become self aware... and the second I do, I start falling from the sky. I land hard in one of those big, spiky shrubs beside a palm tree and I immediately realize that I am naked because I can feel it poking me ALL over my body. I landed right beside this family's convertible and the whole family starts freaking out. The woman and man jump out to help. The woman helps me up while the man throws his overcoat on top of me. No one went to work or school that day and instead they turned around and drove strait home.
Once at their house they tried prying me for information and I honestly, in this dream, had no idea who I was or where I had come from. The information did not exist. I think that may have been the first time I've ever not known who I was in a dream, and boy did that feel weird. I was just as shocked as these guys. I didn't have a name to give them or an address or any sort of family. I felt very confused in this dream. A STRONG feeling of being confused too. I didn't even realize that I should have a name or address or family. I thought it was weird that they thought I should. I weirdly was not too concerned about having just plopped out of the sky. THAT seemed more natural to me than having a name, family, or address. I was, however, somehow aware that I should not be naked... but was not as concerned about it as I think I would have been in any other dream. It was mildly embarrassing and very inconvenient, especially having landed in the spiky shrub thing. I guess it made sense to me that you would fall out of the sky naked. Anyway, after cleaning me up and getting NO information out of me, this couple decided that I had amnesia and that they were going to care for me in their home until I could remember a name and they set up a place for me to rest in their attic. I liked the attic because it had a skylight where I could look up into the stars as I fell asleep. And I did sleep.
The next day I was to go shopping with the woman for clothes. This was probably the most fun in the dream, because EVERYTHING was so exciting and new. It literally felt like magic. Like I had NEVER seen stores before or had gone shopping in a mall before. Everything was new and magical and took my breath away. Every store, every parking lot, every flower and the super green grass. It was an amazing feeling and had the dream ended there, it probably would have been the best dream I've ever had as far as having feelings of happiness and excitement. But after shopping, as we were walking back towards the vehicle, I saw a man. I KNEW this man. I didn't know how or from where, but I KNEW him and remembered that I was madly in love with him. He was casually talking to two or three other people beside his own vehicle and I wanted very much to run up to him and scream out "HERE I AM! I AM HERE! I FOUND YOU!" But I couldn't do that, because that is what crazy people do. Even not remembering anything, I knew that much. I started to tell the woman that I knew this man, but it would be weird if he didn't recognize me or knew who I was. SO, instead of talking to her, I walked past his car casually a couple of times to see if he would notice me. He did not. He looked at me briefly and then looked away and carried on with his conversations. Nothing about me struck him at all and I was very disappointed and sad. My heart felt heavy and I wanted to cry a bit... but maybe he just didn't get a good look at me. Maybe I would see him again. When we got home I cried under the skylight until I fell asleep.
The next day I was going somewhere with the father of the house and noticed the man again. I KNEW this man. I was MADLY in love with this man and I somehow had to make him see me. I felt like if he saw me he would feel like I did! Like I was his long, lost love. Again, I wanted to scream out "HERE I AM! I AM HERE!" (For some reason in those exact words) but couldn't because only crazy people do that and it would be super weird and probably pretty creepy. I jumped out of the moving convertible and slowly walked up to the man, then smiled and waved shyly. He was standing next to his car and gave me a really creeped out half smile and slight wave before getting into his car and driving off. I started to cry as I watched him leave. This was heartbreaking to me. It even felt like it physically hurt. He didn't recognize me at all... if anything, he probably thought I was weird. I felt sick to my stomach... I felt a heartbreaking sadness like I have never felt in my entire life, and believe me when I tell you that I've felt some incredible sadness. But this sadness was somehow different. It was "soul shattering". It hurt to the very core of my being.
When I somehow got back to the house, I climbed into the attic and cried for what felt like forever. I was in this unbearable physical and emotional pain... and while I have felt pain in dreams before... I've NEVER felt anything to this magnitude, and I'm sure that reading this, it doesn't seem like it should be THAT big of a deal. But it was somehow. In the dream anyway... The family checked on me a time or two, but I was inconsolable. I wailed and cried in a corner of that attic for what felt like days. Then suddenly a black cat appeared in there with me. It was almost like it just materialized out of the wall. It could talk and called me over to it and began to tell me a story and as it talked I could see everything that it was saying in a vision. It's story was pretty far fetched and sad. It told me the story of a woman from a very wealthy family who lived hundreds of years ago. A past incarnation of myself. She was incredibly talented and smart. She was very gifted in art and music, and was very lovely. She was also very in love with a poor man. Her parents had arranged a marriage to a "suitable" man and she was forbidden to be with the poor man. The cat went on to say that running away with the man was not an option and would lead to terrible things happening to her and her lover. She also couldn't bear the thought of being with the man that she was to wed. She did not love him in the slightest and she was heartbroken that she was to wed him... so she somehow, as the cat put it, "shattered her soul" into two. One part of her was amazingly talented and smart and confident. Because of this she was very successful and lived a happy life. She either did not remember being in love with the man or was content to live without him. The other part of her, the shattered part, was also talented and smart but had no confidence... and also suffered terrible luck. She was very sentimental and more emotional and she was not as successful in life. This was the price of shattering into two. And, ironically, one reason the shattered soul would have a difficult time finding and being with her love. It was unclear, in the cat's story, whether or not the shattered part of her got to live out her days this incarnation with the man she loved, just that she shattered herself to be able to do so, because she and this man were "soul mates". As I watched and was told these things, that already unbearable pain and sorrow was somehow increased and began to feel familiar. And this, was one of the weirdest things to feel in the dream. I was then told by the cat that I had reincarnated many times to be with this man and had been wandering around lifetimes to find him and often lived out painful, unlucky lives which resulted in me "fading away". In many reincarnations one of us were too old or two young or for some reason just couldn't be together...and I would literally just fade into nothing. And after the cat told me this, I could just feel myself drowning in despair. I looked at my hands and my fingertips had become see-through. It was happening! It was night time when the cat told me this... and it told me that at dawn I would completely disappear. And for a little while longer I cried... but then thought to myself that this might be a good thing. I had my next reincarnation to look forward to.
The family I was staying with came up to see me one last time and I told them what the cat had told me about disappearing. The children cried and held my hands and the husband and wife hugged one another. I was still in a lot of physical and emotional pain... but weirdly optimistic at the same time knowing that the pain would soon end and that I would reincarnate again. The family got out a tiny white tea light and set it next to me and lit it. Right at dawn the flame would burn out and I would vanish as well. I could feel myself getting weaker and see through the skylight that the sky was beginning to brighten and I thanked the family for taking me in and taking such good care of me and asked them to be happy for me rather than sad because I was off again to find my soul mate. They tried to smile and seem less upset for my sake which was sweet of them. The last thing I saw before waking from the dream was the puff of smoke when the candle burned out.
I woke up from this dream to find that I had actually been crying in my sleep. I had soaked my pillow.
I've had many memorable dreams throughout my life, and this one will probably be at the top of the list for a long time.
I *think* I understand the meaning of the dream, but even still, I've had a hard time "getting over it". The dream was quite intense for me, so I'm also very interested in other interpretations. Like most of my more memorable dreams, the dream was very lengthy and vivid. And this one was weirdly complete. By that, I mean that I didn't wake up in the middle or in a way that made the dream incomplete. I woke up when the dream finished. What makes this dream so upsetting to me isn't so much the content or the ideas presented in the dream, but the intensity of the feelings inside this dream. I've had happy dreams, funny dreams, sad dreams, predictive dreams and just down-right heart-stopping, terrifying night terrors... but nothing I have ever dreampt has effected me quite like this dream. I know that by just reading it, it won't sound like much. It will sound like a sad adventure. A tragedy like you would read in a book (and it honestly does kind of sound like something you'd read in a book) ... but believe me when I say, when I had this dream, it honest to God felt like my soul was dying and still does a little bit when I think back on it.
This dream was intended... which, honestly, made it hurt more, I think. The intention was about a relationship I was in and whether or not it would work out. If I should keep trying. I had intended dreams for this relationship several times. About 4 out of 5 times I would, in fact, dream of our relationship. It felt like I was getting some intention practice. Maybe not on a huge scale, but on a small, safe, experimental level. Many dreams made me feel like I should pursue the relationship and KEEP working on it. I will reluctantly admit that the not-so-great dreams I blamed mostly on anxiety. Like many of my dreams, the dreams that I believed led me to be with this man I was with were very metaphorical and vague, so maybe I had misinterpreted (Interpretation has never been a strength of mine). Maybe my intention was not precise enough ... more likely, those dreams simply reflected what I had hoped for. The answers I wanted but were otherwise useless. Not the answers I needed. (Because, as I mentioned, those were due to anxiety. ;>_> ) At any rate, this dream certainly knocked me on my bottom. Which is one reason why I would like to share it. I had this dream before the actual end of the "relationship" and unlike a lot of my dreams it was one of those "slap-you-in-the-face" kind of dreams, which I get on very rare occasions when something very good or just terrible is right around the corner for me or someone very close to me and the universe really wants me to "get it". Some really tough realizations in this one... and not happy ones.
Also, before I get to the actual dream, I'd like to say (as I think I have in past dreams posted publicly) that I've never really believed in reincarnation. I had similar views on "soul mates". I don't study it. Read about it. Watch shows about it... but I've had several dreams now revolving around it. My beliefs now on reincarnation are that I am highly doubtful of it... but there are a lot of things that I just don't know and have no real way of knowing, so who knows. Maybe? But still doubtful. Maybe though. But probably not. (LOL! ;P )
In the beginning of this dream I am watching a family of four in a house. There is a husband and wife getting ready for work and two children (A little boy and girl) getting ready for school. If I had to guess, I'd say the children were maybe somewhere between ages 10 and 14. When everyone is ready, they rush out into a red convertible. The husband is behind the wheel driving on a very busy highway and the scenery reminded me a lot of California. There were palm trees and those weird spiky shrubs everywhere. So, I'm watching this very normal family, now stuck in traffic, from above like a boring reality TV show until I somehow become self aware... and the second I do, I start falling from the sky. I land hard in one of those big, spiky shrubs beside a palm tree and I immediately realize that I am naked because I can feel it poking me ALL over my body. I landed right beside this family's convertible and the whole family starts freaking out. The woman and man jump out to help. The woman helps me up while the man throws his overcoat on top of me. No one went to work or school that day and instead they turned around and drove strait home.
Once at their house they tried prying me for information and I honestly, in this dream, had no idea who I was or where I had come from. The information did not exist. I think that may have been the first time I've ever not known who I was in a dream, and boy did that feel weird. I was just as shocked as these guys. I didn't have a name to give them or an address or any sort of family. I felt very confused in this dream. A STRONG feeling of being confused too. I didn't even realize that I should have a name or address or family. I thought it was weird that they thought I should. I weirdly was not too concerned about having just plopped out of the sky. THAT seemed more natural to me than having a name, family, or address. I was, however, somehow aware that I should not be naked... but was not as concerned about it as I think I would have been in any other dream. It was mildly embarrassing and very inconvenient, especially having landed in the spiky shrub thing. I guess it made sense to me that you would fall out of the sky naked. Anyway, after cleaning me up and getting NO information out of me, this couple decided that I had amnesia and that they were going to care for me in their home until I could remember a name and they set up a place for me to rest in their attic. I liked the attic because it had a skylight where I could look up into the stars as I fell asleep. And I did sleep.
The next day I was to go shopping with the woman for clothes. This was probably the most fun in the dream, because EVERYTHING was so exciting and new. It literally felt like magic. Like I had NEVER seen stores before or had gone shopping in a mall before. Everything was new and magical and took my breath away. Every store, every parking lot, every flower and the super green grass. It was an amazing feeling and had the dream ended there, it probably would have been the best dream I've ever had as far as having feelings of happiness and excitement. But after shopping, as we were walking back towards the vehicle, I saw a man. I KNEW this man. I didn't know how or from where, but I KNEW him and remembered that I was madly in love with him. He was casually talking to two or three other people beside his own vehicle and I wanted very much to run up to him and scream out "HERE I AM! I AM HERE! I FOUND YOU!" But I couldn't do that, because that is what crazy people do. Even not remembering anything, I knew that much. I started to tell the woman that I knew this man, but it would be weird if he didn't recognize me or knew who I was. SO, instead of talking to her, I walked past his car casually a couple of times to see if he would notice me. He did not. He looked at me briefly and then looked away and carried on with his conversations. Nothing about me struck him at all and I was very disappointed and sad. My heart felt heavy and I wanted to cry a bit... but maybe he just didn't get a good look at me. Maybe I would see him again. When we got home I cried under the skylight until I fell asleep.
The next day I was going somewhere with the father of the house and noticed the man again. I KNEW this man. I was MADLY in love with this man and I somehow had to make him see me. I felt like if he saw me he would feel like I did! Like I was his long, lost love. Again, I wanted to scream out "HERE I AM! I AM HERE!" (For some reason in those exact words) but couldn't because only crazy people do that and it would be super weird and probably pretty creepy. I jumped out of the moving convertible and slowly walked up to the man, then smiled and waved shyly. He was standing next to his car and gave me a really creeped out half smile and slight wave before getting into his car and driving off. I started to cry as I watched him leave. This was heartbreaking to me. It even felt like it physically hurt. He didn't recognize me at all... if anything, he probably thought I was weird. I felt sick to my stomach... I felt a heartbreaking sadness like I have never felt in my entire life, and believe me when I tell you that I've felt some incredible sadness. But this sadness was somehow different. It was "soul shattering". It hurt to the very core of my being.
When I somehow got back to the house, I climbed into the attic and cried for what felt like forever. I was in this unbearable physical and emotional pain... and while I have felt pain in dreams before... I've NEVER felt anything to this magnitude, and I'm sure that reading this, it doesn't seem like it should be THAT big of a deal. But it was somehow. In the dream anyway... The family checked on me a time or two, but I was inconsolable. I wailed and cried in a corner of that attic for what felt like days. Then suddenly a black cat appeared in there with me. It was almost like it just materialized out of the wall. It could talk and called me over to it and began to tell me a story and as it talked I could see everything that it was saying in a vision. It's story was pretty far fetched and sad. It told me the story of a woman from a very wealthy family who lived hundreds of years ago. A past incarnation of myself. She was incredibly talented and smart. She was very gifted in art and music, and was very lovely. She was also very in love with a poor man. Her parents had arranged a marriage to a "suitable" man and she was forbidden to be with the poor man. The cat went on to say that running away with the man was not an option and would lead to terrible things happening to her and her lover. She also couldn't bear the thought of being with the man that she was to wed. She did not love him in the slightest and she was heartbroken that she was to wed him... so she somehow, as the cat put it, "shattered her soul" into two. One part of her was amazingly talented and smart and confident. Because of this she was very successful and lived a happy life. She either did not remember being in love with the man or was content to live without him. The other part of her, the shattered part, was also talented and smart but had no confidence... and also suffered terrible luck. She was very sentimental and more emotional and she was not as successful in life. This was the price of shattering into two. And, ironically, one reason the shattered soul would have a difficult time finding and being with her love. It was unclear, in the cat's story, whether or not the shattered part of her got to live out her days this incarnation with the man she loved, just that she shattered herself to be able to do so, because she and this man were "soul mates". As I watched and was told these things, that already unbearable pain and sorrow was somehow increased and began to feel familiar. And this, was one of the weirdest things to feel in the dream. I was then told by the cat that I had reincarnated many times to be with this man and had been wandering around lifetimes to find him and often lived out painful, unlucky lives which resulted in me "fading away". In many reincarnations one of us were too old or two young or for some reason just couldn't be together...and I would literally just fade into nothing. And after the cat told me this, I could just feel myself drowning in despair. I looked at my hands and my fingertips had become see-through. It was happening! It was night time when the cat told me this... and it told me that at dawn I would completely disappear. And for a little while longer I cried... but then thought to myself that this might be a good thing. I had my next reincarnation to look forward to.
The family I was staying with came up to see me one last time and I told them what the cat had told me about disappearing. The children cried and held my hands and the husband and wife hugged one another. I was still in a lot of physical and emotional pain... but weirdly optimistic at the same time knowing that the pain would soon end and that I would reincarnate again. The family got out a tiny white tea light and set it next to me and lit it. Right at dawn the flame would burn out and I would vanish as well. I could feel myself getting weaker and see through the skylight that the sky was beginning to brighten and I thanked the family for taking me in and taking such good care of me and asked them to be happy for me rather than sad because I was off again to find my soul mate. They tried to smile and seem less upset for my sake which was sweet of them. The last thing I saw before waking from the dream was the puff of smoke when the candle burned out.
I woke up from this dream to find that I had actually been crying in my sleep. I had soaked my pillow.
I've had many memorable dreams throughout my life, and this one will probably be at the top of the list for a long time.