1/25/15 Unholy Struggle / Competition (& more nudity)

[G0'D]

Go, that was me in my 20's... But that was me awake as well as dreaming!

Thank you for sharing this, it is a reminder to those of us who feel like no one will understand that yes, there are others who know the darkest parts of their own hearts and minds. They are strong and willful, and brilliant people. They dance to the beat of their own drums.

I will still never forget the moment I realized how many people were down there with me, climbing on each other, stepping on each other's faces to climb out of the mud, those with the will to push on, to climb the mountain to the peak to seek the light.

gosh i have so many questions, and i hate to whine to myself about all MY questions….but through dreaming and an ability to see life, right as it is. I really do wonder who is in 'supposed' control. I was a lucid dreamer, and i was fearless (note the tense) and i had many what i could call "bring it on dreams"….like f//>>,;ken BRING IT ON. Take me and show me and fucking tell me why i should be afraid of you. I am quite a literary person so for me it was, circles of hell, had i not known about dante's inferno then the look may have been different but i went through it, lower and darker and horrific and i came out the other end once, into a dazzling lightness an azure of beauty and before i woke up i said "but it is you who make a hell of heaven and a heaven of hell". really . then i stopped. I may choose not to have a glass of wine before bed to assure myself of the perfect lucid dreams or i may not. I will though be certain for the rest of my life that i have seen the conflict, and the conflict is me.

thanks for that.