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05-15-2014, 12:23 AM
My friend, my older brother, left us last year(2013)—he took his own life.
Three times throughout my life I have had this repetitive dream about me and my brother. The first time I had this dream, I was in my early 20's. The last time I had this dream, was the two months before he took his own life. I believe it was a subconscious message, but I don't know if it was from my subconscious, or his? It was as if his death was predetermined to go by his own hand one day and I needed to know about it.
THE REPETITIVE DREAM
I am standing on what looks like the shore of our near by lake (Folsom Lake). I see about roughly 50 feet in front of me a tiny piece of land, like an island. On this island is my brother, standing next to the open door of his gray 240Z. He is looking right at me, with no expression on his face.
I am standing on the shore, wondering how he got his car onto this tiny island, and why he is just standing there, staring at me. Suddenly, the island begins to sink. My brother continues to stare at me, with no expression, no concern the island is sinking, he didn't bat and eye, he just stood there. I am on the shore, frantically pacing back and forth, motioning to him to get out of there, and come onto the shore, but he just continued to stare.
As the water begins to rise, covering the tiny island, and now seeping into the car, he turns, and gets in, and shuts the door, and moves to the back of the car, to the window hatch. All I could see is his face, and still no expression from him. As the water fills the car, the last thing I saw was his stretched his hand out to me, as if to say good-bye, and he just sank without a care in the world, as if he knew it was time for him to go, and he was completely ok with that.
I miss him so so much. His one year death anniversary was May 6, 2014.
Three times throughout my life I have had this repetitive dream about me and my brother. The first time I had this dream, I was in my early 20's. The last time I had this dream, was the two months before he took his own life. I believe it was a subconscious message, but I don't know if it was from my subconscious, or his? It was as if his death was predetermined to go by his own hand one day and I needed to know about it.
THE REPETITIVE DREAM
I am standing on what looks like the shore of our near by lake (Folsom Lake). I see about roughly 50 feet in front of me a tiny piece of land, like an island. On this island is my brother, standing next to the open door of his gray 240Z. He is looking right at me, with no expression on his face.
I am standing on the shore, wondering how he got his car onto this tiny island, and why he is just standing there, staring at me. Suddenly, the island begins to sink. My brother continues to stare at me, with no expression, no concern the island is sinking, he didn't bat and eye, he just stood there. I am on the shore, frantically pacing back and forth, motioning to him to get out of there, and come onto the shore, but he just continued to stare.
As the water begins to rise, covering the tiny island, and now seeping into the car, he turns, and gets in, and shuts the door, and moves to the back of the car, to the window hatch. All I could see is his face, and still no expression from him. As the water fills the car, the last thing I saw was his stretched his hand out to me, as if to say good-bye, and he just sank without a care in the world, as if he knew it was time for him to go, and he was completely ok with that.
I miss him so so much. His one year death anniversary was May 6, 2014.