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03-20-2015, 02:19 PM
Re-post due to double pasting: This is one dream that will haunt me for a long time.
*Party* I was at a party with several other people, drinking beer and having fun. We appeared to be at somebodies work place and my old co-op student was there. I decided to play a trick on him and hide his beer. He didn't really get the joke. We all then got up and walked around. Turned out that everybody working there were actually garbage maintenance workers. They appeared to be on the brink of a strike.
*Naked deformed beauty* I was suddenly in another group setting where we appeared to be students, maybe at a sort of beauty parlor or medical setting. There was an instructor who had a young man next to him. I guessed he was about half my age, 18 or 20 tops. He was blonde with piercing blue eyes and slanted eye lids. His right foot was a curled up clump, but his left foot was okay. His hands were also deformed, but to a lesser degree and were still usable. They looked more like he had arthritis, but they were birth defects. He was naked and being shown to us like a cow at the market. The rest of his body was fine except for some cellulite or similar minor deformity on his behind. The instructor made him turn his side to us so we could see where to make cuts to remove the extra fat/cellulite/flesh.
When he turned towards us again, he locked eyes with me, piercing his way into my soul. He was just any young man with normal build, not too muscular, but certianly not fat. He was beautiful to me. I felt ashamed to look at him where the instructor pointed at his body, as if my stare would be cold and indifferent. I locked eyes with him as long as I could and a hurricane of emotions welled up in me. My motherly instincts wanted to hug him and shield him from the judgemental stares of other people. I knew that was not the emotional response he was looking for. He did not want pity, though he knew fully well how hard it would be for him to find a partner in his life who would accept him for what he was - not for what he was not.
I diverted my eyes but forced myself to look into his again. There was pain, but also pride. He was not ashamed to show himself exactly as he was and let the world see his vulnerability. I wanted to give him an approving smile, an accepting smile as I would any other being, but was just locked into taking in all the emotions he evoked in me. There was also shame. Shame that working as a medical showcase for minimum wage was the only way he could show the world his beautiful soul. If I had been a painter, I would have wanted to paint him. He was perfect to me with all his imperfections. I understood how Source loves all creations equally and unequivocally.
There was love. He was a Lightworker for sure and had so much love in his eyes, like he would share the universe with me if I just let him. I wanted to touch him, to be intimate with him, just to show him not all humans would reject him, but I also knew that it was a feeling that came slightly out of pity, for I wouldn't have stayed with him. He was half my age and had so much to learn about life. I diverted my eyes several times but kept going back into staring back into his. It was what he wanted. Nothing more, nothing less. He had a beautiful face. I felt like I was being tested. Like the question was asked if I could really love even the most contorted beings on Earth. My heart overflowed with love and pain. As the golden age returns, we will all be faced with these emotions.
It makes me cry every time I recall those eyes looking into my soul.
Hoʻoponopono "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you"
The song "Perfect" keeps playing in my head. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVrZlrL7atI
*Party* I was at a party with several other people, drinking beer and having fun. We appeared to be at somebodies work place and my old co-op student was there. I decided to play a trick on him and hide his beer. He didn't really get the joke. We all then got up and walked around. Turned out that everybody working there were actually garbage maintenance workers. They appeared to be on the brink of a strike.
*Naked deformed beauty* I was suddenly in another group setting where we appeared to be students, maybe at a sort of beauty parlor or medical setting. There was an instructor who had a young man next to him. I guessed he was about half my age, 18 or 20 tops. He was blonde with piercing blue eyes and slanted eye lids. His right foot was a curled up clump, but his left foot was okay. His hands were also deformed, but to a lesser degree and were still usable. They looked more like he had arthritis, but they were birth defects. He was naked and being shown to us like a cow at the market. The rest of his body was fine except for some cellulite or similar minor deformity on his behind. The instructor made him turn his side to us so we could see where to make cuts to remove the extra fat/cellulite/flesh.
When he turned towards us again, he locked eyes with me, piercing his way into my soul. He was just any young man with normal build, not too muscular, but certianly not fat. He was beautiful to me. I felt ashamed to look at him where the instructor pointed at his body, as if my stare would be cold and indifferent. I locked eyes with him as long as I could and a hurricane of emotions welled up in me. My motherly instincts wanted to hug him and shield him from the judgemental stares of other people. I knew that was not the emotional response he was looking for. He did not want pity, though he knew fully well how hard it would be for him to find a partner in his life who would accept him for what he was - not for what he was not.
I diverted my eyes but forced myself to look into his again. There was pain, but also pride. He was not ashamed to show himself exactly as he was and let the world see his vulnerability. I wanted to give him an approving smile, an accepting smile as I would any other being, but was just locked into taking in all the emotions he evoked in me. There was also shame. Shame that working as a medical showcase for minimum wage was the only way he could show the world his beautiful soul. If I had been a painter, I would have wanted to paint him. He was perfect to me with all his imperfections. I understood how Source loves all creations equally and unequivocally.
There was love. He was a Lightworker for sure and had so much love in his eyes, like he would share the universe with me if I just let him. I wanted to touch him, to be intimate with him, just to show him not all humans would reject him, but I also knew that it was a feeling that came slightly out of pity, for I wouldn't have stayed with him. He was half my age and had so much to learn about life. I diverted my eyes several times but kept going back into staring back into his. It was what he wanted. Nothing more, nothing less. He had a beautiful face. I felt like I was being tested. Like the question was asked if I could really love even the most contorted beings on Earth. My heart overflowed with love and pain. As the golden age returns, we will all be faced with these emotions.
It makes me cry every time I recall those eyes looking into my soul.
Hoʻoponopono "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you"
The song "Perfect" keeps playing in my head. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVrZlrL7atI