Me and my friends Chip and Adam were in some kind of vigilante crime fighting squad. I wanted to find lyrics for some WWII Fascist songs in Italian, so we all went to this "Italian American Cultural Center" and I was going to ask if they had lyrics. I asked the woman at the desk, who was speaking perfect English in a very robotic tone. I told her I wanted lyrics for some old Italian military songs. She said "From the First World War?" I winked and nudged her and said, "No, the OTHER world war." She said they do not have any, and I got up to leave. Chip and Adam told me they had a plan of some kind. Chip got out a big book and purposely spilled Pepsi all over it, pretending it was an accident and made a big scene. While everyone was looking at him, Adam shoved an Italian-English dictionary into a briefcase he was carrying. We all hurried out of the building and went back to the car. Adam took out the dictionary and he said, "Yes, we got it!" I asked, "Ok, so WHY exactly did we do that?" And they claimed it was so that we could learn Italian to help investigate Italian criminals.

I was in this odd apartment that is kind of like mine, but the kitchen was upstairs and had two little windows leading out into the living room. My friend lived next door to me, and he was apparently on parole and his parole officer was at his house. I was being kind of loud so she came over to my place to ask me a few questions, presumably to make sure my friend didn't live next to a bad influence. The parole officer turned out to be a really hot female and we were being all flirty with each other. I told her, "You have a lot of misconceptions about England." and she was confused.

I was in a college lecture hall fiddling around with some kind of Egyptian artifact. apparently I accidentally solved some kind of puzzle in it or something because it opened up and revealed a bunch of hieryglyphics. I asked a professor if anyone could translate them, and he told me I would get extra credit for discovering it. There was a big hole in the middle of the hieroglyphics with light coming from it, so I tossed a pebble down there. Suddenly a giant monster came out of the screen at the front of the class and started chasing me.

I was at the hospital visiting my mom, who was in there for some minor condition. I was drinking a Bud Light in a bottle. I asked if visiting hours were over, and the nurse told me they were. I went outside and sat on the curb instead. This guy from my work drove by in a van and asked what I was doing there. I got up and said, "just hangin' out at the hospital... It's the place to be, man!" And he laughed and drove off. I got in my car and drove away, wondering if I had drank to much to be driving.

I was in high school, and decided to skip out early. I had just been through a breakup and was pretty depressed. I left and went to a small seafood restaurant. The cashier was a cute girl, and out of desperation, I thought about asking her out and having a wonderful future with her. But I just ordered a plate of fried fish and french fries, ate it, and left. Later that night, I was at a dinner party in London. A woman was complaining about how little time she has in life, and how she tries to get in shape but there is just no time or money. Her husband says, "You know dear, I went through your purse today. I saw the receipt. You were at the male stip club." She starts crying and berating her husband for calling her out in front of all the party guests. The man goes outside, and I follow him. He tells me to burn all the humans. The whole world fades into black except me and him. He begins tracing abstract multicolored lines with his fingers. The lines then catch on fire and burn like fuses as he stares at me and explains how the whole human race is worthless, and how I am the only one who can destroy them.

I was in a cornfield with one of my friends (one who is quite goofy and doesn't really take anything seriously) The cornfield was surrounded by a tall stone wall, but we had plenty of space; several square miles. Our only way to escape was a biplane painted red, with McDonalds logos all over it and Ronald McDonald's face painted on the tail. I explained to my friend that he had to get serious and help me fly this plane so we can escape the cornfield. He agreed. But as soon as we took off and started flying, he would get all goofy and start messing with the controls, causing the plane to crash land. I told him over and over that we really have to focus and fly this plane over the wall, and he would agree every time, but start screwing off and messing things up as soon as we would take off.

Me and my friend had a Mythbusters-like TV show called "What's at the Top?" where we just investigated what was at the very top of staircases. The first segment was a staircase in my apartment building, that was several stories high but just led to another apartment. The second one was at a local drive-through place that sold soda, beer, chips, cigarettes, etc. and we had to drive through, then shoot a grappling hook into a little hatch in the ceiling to get to the staircase. We went up there, and it just led to the outside from the roof, as if there was once a balcony there but it had been removed.

I was hiding on a cargo truck and thinking of how to get off without getting caught. There were some workers standing by the open gate while the truck was moving, so I opted to just run past them and jump out, then run away. I landed in some suburban neighborhood and arrived at some house where there was a family BBQ going on. I pretended that I was just one of the family members, so the guys from the truck wouldn't find me.

I was watching TV, and there was a rap music video on (odd because I don't watch TV and absolutely hate rap) The rapper was doing a rap about how he shoots random civilians, then assaults the police and EMTs when they get there. The video showed him firing teargas at ambulance drivers and then shooting them. I remember being angry about it and telling someone about how I would shoot that rapper if I ever saw him in town.

I went to a local supermarket and a voice came over the intercom announcing that there was a special order of shark steak in. I tried to buy some but it was $25/lb. I left and drove away, accidentally crashing through a cookout party that a black family was having nearby. They didn't seem to mind very much but I was worried they might call the cops so I put on my jogging clothes as a "disguise" and jogged by, carrying two cans of beans that I had bought at the supermarket. I jogged across a bridge and up and down some stairs on some kind of giant boardwalk structure. I then reported to my job as part of an elite mercenary squad, where we became trapped in a building where someone was that we were supposed to kill or something. A voice came over the intercom that said the LAPD was raiding the building. We couldn't get out because the doors were locked. I tried to break the glass on the door that we entered through by hitting it with a stool, but it was some kind of plexiglass. We went to a first-floor window and tried to entice some people outside to break the windows for us. I started yelling at some bro and flexing my muscles at him, hoping he would get mad and break the window to start a fight, but he just got a sad look on his face and said, "Fascist!!"